Things I have learnt at age 19

Got this idea from Absar's blog! :) It seemed lovely so here are my learnt lessons about life...

• I am straight.;)
• I am caring and love to be cared for.
• I have the ability to get up and start anew.
• I can fight and lose or win but I can fight.
• Sometimes the real source to acquire your peace is the power to do something about it.
• Friends matter - a lot. You are bound with family most of the time but its chosen for you. You choose your friends. Fate brings u together but you choose for them to stay.
• If someone is important to you, show them in every way possible.
• Giving a part of yourself can either be the most wonderful, fulfilling experience or the most disgusting, horrifying experience you may have to face. Learn the difference, learn the worth.
• You are worthy. Coz u r living in this moment. What makes it special is your choice to live it. Khalil Gibran passed away. He's gone. No matter how wonderful his writing is, he's not coming back. Hence, find your passions, love your life. Dont let anyone else's writings or works control you for too long.
• If u don't hurt people, life won't give you unsurpassable wounds.
• Making someone feel special(when you mean it) is the most beautiful thing in the world. Its the greatest feeling :)
• If you pick a fallen crumb from a floor, it wont necesarily be what you thought it to be!
• Be gentle with yourself and take care of yourself.
• Forgive yourself for the mistakes you made but always try to fix them.
• If, in a relationship, you receive more negitive or indifferent behaviour than positive, loving behaviour, its not worth being emotionally attached to.

What have u learnt??

Its all coming to me

Why is it all coming back to me? The memories of last year and my struggles. Maybe it signifies closure. which is good.
U know whats the most soothing thing when u wanna get away from everyone and just be yrself when u r really down? sitting on the cool tile floor. I have spent so many minutes lying down on the tile floor, crying so many tears, staring at the ceiling. Its soothing as far as channeling out yr feelings is concerned. But that was months back. Why am i feeling this way now? Closure. It has to be.

I am awfully proud of this!:)

Who is she?
She walks like the night,
Calm and placid like the ocean blue.
But who's she?
I wonder,
If it's important!
She's every person
I've ever come across
She is every man.

She sums up all there is in eternity
And loves with her own heart-and in her own way.
Hate she knows not
Only rage dwells in her heart.
But what are these rare days of serenity?
That manifest in her own self!
Is she two people?
Or just one?
Is she too much?
Or just enough?
Is she loving?
Or lovingly inhumane!
Is she real?
or really a fancy?
What is she?
Where does she come from?
Is she that certain feeling?
Or is she it all?
What makes or breaks her?
WHat are her dreams?
What's so divine that calms her so?
Yet enrages all the same?
Why 2 reactions to the same feeling?
What is she?
That miracle lady?

She is herself,
All alone.
Struggling
Loving and hating all the same.
The calmness that you see is her peace with herself
The pain poses her rage.
In actions imposed
And words revealed.
Feelings manifested,
largely crumpled.
She is but one 'man'
And that is me.

-Naureen

The future

I commented n absar's blog.. abt the future. I think this can even be posted here. It means so much to me coz it compliments my dream!

Hey! A late comment but believe me, i feel i have something worthy to share.I have come to believe that God shows us glimpses of the future. U might see this movie scene, that sort of can be an extension of who u r, or is related to u. A common experience, common dressing, common ambitions. So many things :) I think there are some things u desire. U know for the future. But u see certain things around, in friends, family, media that u find related or fascinating and at times it resembles a part of yr future :)

I just discovered that I cant live without love. It thrives me. And not the fake, I love but cant really help u(read I am too damn selfish) but the i will do anything i can, will help u help yrself sort. Its soothing, it heals. Love is a wonderful feeling! And making compromises in the later is SO worthy. It feels good. it strengthens the bond and makes a relationship lighter. :) U know i read this quote, " dealing with conflicts together strengthens a relationship!" (something like that!) its soo wiseee!
My fav word used to be 'nice' but i think I like 'cute' more now. It sounds cuter!
I asked one of my cuzins to put aside this yellow dress for me! I love yellow!!!! dresses mein yellow looks cute. esp on gals. I think guys look kinda goofy-cute in yellow! not goofy-goofy, goofy-cute!
I am glad i got ma ears pierced (like 3 years bac) i love wearing my earings. Though, my ears hurt now!
Been sleeping loads! :D dun wana be tired!!!:p

Shopping, shopping and more shopping!

I went shopping yesterday! Yeah!! Handbags, purses, jewellery(again!), T-shirts! All I need are shoes now! Yeah! There are gona be so many bags... Good to fill up my stationery and stuff!
7 days until I leave! Am really excited! I cant stop thinking abt my handbags! :) I have this thing for blue things! I haev like 3 blue bags already and (they are of different shades though!) I got another one yesterday! But its SO CUTE!! It looks elegant!
Its light blue with this shiny thing on one side! (I dunno how to describe it!) Yeah i even got blue jewellery!
And I got this black bag.... not too big, not to small! Thats why they call it bags I guess. (Otherwise it wud have been BIG bag!) :D! Man theres so much to do! Not that i really mind! But i still got this sore throat thingy. Am kinda sleepy!

How to make a me!

How to make a Naureen

Ingredients: 1 part mercy 3 parts ambition 3 parts ego

Method: Add to a cocktail shaker and mix vigorously. Serve with a slice of emotion and a pinch of salt. Yum!

Username:http://www.go-quiz.com/cocktail/cocktail.php">Username:%20name="uname">

oyeee!

logoon! where are yr comments? Absar especially! where are yr comments for my blogs - latest ones!? !

It rained!

Yeah !!! kinda more of a drizzle and less of a rain but it rained :) Someone told me its her b day she was damn happy!
I hae been up all nite! kinda tired!
11 days until i leave. Theres a lot to do which is good. I hate sitting falto!
Found out two more ppl from my area who got admitted in ma batch! cool! Yeah wont be alone i guess :) I will make new friends too.
i am sleepy!
Hmm we are gona be assigned a facutly advisor! Hope mine is cute! ;) yeah they gona be old I guess but no problem!LUMS is a uni with young students ! so that balances!;)

I had a good day today ALHAMDULILAH :)
I am glad to be me!
YAY!
I love music too!

...

Nothing but pennies
In my pocket
Nothing but faith to
Keep me warm
Well baby,I'd be broke without it
Tell me, how muchFor your love?
Slip my heart inYour back pocket
All that I got toKeep me warm
So babyDon't leave me here without it
Tell me how muchFor your love?

-"In My Pocket",Mandy Moore

Still sore throat a bit gota study functions (maths) and wana watch friends!

registered for the courses today! pre-Calculus, Intro to Computing, Principles of Eco :D

What else? I am thankful hat i renewed my credit! Love to bug friends :)

At times the things u truly want, u get them :)

Gotta Open up

I got a sore throat. Its really hurting now. When I gulp aur waisay bhi it hurts a bit... Hmm gota treat it!
15 days left until i leave. I sometimes cant believe I am leaving. I was up most of the night last night thinking abt the familarity of this place. No, i am not some i-cant-live-without-my-home person but the reality of it hit me yesterday. I am not scared, I am a bit confused. But then, i love nights and wud love to have someone to talk to all night! someone i find interesting! yeah i can do that on holidays there, itni sari larkiyan hongi and yr interests bring u together! Its gona be fun :D
feels weird but believe me, i wudnt have it any other way. :) I am gona work on things and manage them.
I am getting the opportunity to educate myself, really educate myself... i am gona INSHALLAH make the best of it. :)

No one missed me!

I signed in like after a week... and no real messages! :P My computer kinda crashed and phone bhi kharab hogaya! no one missed my blogs? :P

Have a cup of tea by my side. Found my 2 favourite rings... had misplaced them 2 months or so bac :D Mom ound them... am wearing them! I love being silly at home. Played wid my stuffed bunny yesterday. threw and caught him! Its fun

I feel lighter today. I decided to let go :)
Life feels wonderful. I feel. I feel i am walking between eternity.. am content wid the past and soothed by the future. the present is divine. I love it. Morning ... walking into the sky or so it feels!:)

I cant

I cant go on pretending everythings fine
I cant really stop thinking abt it
I am sick of thinking abt it all the time
I KNOW things are gonna get better
Maybe its that pain.. that dry itchy pain which prevails when the wound's abt to close.
I think so.

I gota collect myself.
Maintain my calm
Its ok to freak out sometimes
But i gota take care of myself and of ppl i care for the most,
who have, somehow, hurt me the most.

I still need them, in one way or the other. Thats the irony.
One way or the other, its good. Or else, its gonna be extremely lonely.

In real, I cant wait for the silver lining to unfold.
Allah must have some grand work there. Some glory.
I know. I can feel it :)
Now thats teh good part.

Its ok, its almost over.
Almost over...
Another start then.. lets see... :) I am excited.
Its my time to sit back, relax and trust Him.

I know... think

I know YoU mEan No HaRm ProBably...

But ThrOugh ThE cOurSe Of LiFe, I;Ve stoppEd TrusTing U.

cOz yOu BrOKe My HeaRt.

YOu cant JuSt pLaY AlOnG pReTenDing NoThinG 'Big' HaPpeNeD.

coZ iT Did.

It's OveR. I wOnt LeT u rIp mY HeaRt aGain.

SoRry ! (more of a sarcastic sorry then a felt one!)

P.s. : Never ignore yr FeeLinGs

heyyyy!

Wassup??
Me? better. ALHAMDULILAH :)
I love Friends!!! the real ones and the show too!!
Esp where Joey makes those peanut butter fingers! and the way Pheobe acts when she loses the lottery tickets!
Hmm been preparing to leave. 26 days left. Then i'll leave. Cant believe its happening. Its like ending on an Era... almost childhood probably. Teenage years ... no i dunt feel old... the older i get, the happier I am because it makes me more aware of my existence. And I love to celebrate it. I mean I cant believe I am leaving. My favourite picture, my home, my money plant Bugsy! Whos gonna remember to water it! Maybe I shud take a part of it with me.. Hmm probably not! I think I still want a goldfish! I like caring for them! The plant's beautiful!!

Basically, been crazy abt having everything... I have prepared a 2 page list of things I am gonna need... and been studying ad math.
I am excited. It feels weird. I mean I am leaving .. I am glad its just that... u know this is the leap... a big leap through which i cross two BIG mountains.. small ones arent my choice... had something BIG in a way before... so I decided to do somethin BIG ahead in a different way.
I am basically doing it coz I am important to myself. My happiness IS important to me. I know its important to others too but I gota love myself. Makes me happy. Helps me care for others better. I lov sharin my happiness. Sometimes I choke out my sorrows too .. gives me more reasons to connect with friends more beforehand... b4 things get so bad that even talking abt it is hard. I love the people who support me
I care for those who care for me. I adore them!

This ..

This sadness...
is weird.

This sadness...
is scary.

This sadness...
is deep

Yet this sadness...
makes all my joys worthy.

I may not perfectly see it now God, I do have faith in You.
I do believe we (You and me) can create some grandeur out of all this.
I do believe that there's happiness waiting to be embaced at the end of the tunnel.
So, Thank You.

Love,
Naureen.

Hiya!

Hiya people :D
How u doin;)
Me? been studying ad math :D Application of Integration! Yeah !
I got my hair trimmed yesterday! It looks better :D I dun think i want it straightened though. It is wavy but then no straight? looks weird on some ppl! plus using chemicals on yr hair. :S hmm i dun think i want that!!
oh who cares! Gotta pace up the uni going preps soon!
ALHAMDULILAH joined the community orkut ki... LUMS 2009 ahem! really excited! :)
Hmm what else??!! its was a good day yesterday and today started off well too ALHAMDULILAH :)

The Darkness..

We can only appreciate the dark when we have waited in the darkness.

They say that darkness and light are two faces of the same coin. They say that light is what prevails, what's right and what rules. They say enlightenment is divine.

I say darkness is.

I have been in darkness. It's a shadow that's been cast over me. Darkness, depression, detest. But its not really me. Darkness has given me the ability to see beyond. To search, to look around for the light. Is the source divine or is the destiny?

I, Naureen Keswani, have the ability to rise above it. To fly so high that my sorrows cannot follow me. I dwell. I exist. But I love.

I love myself. I love my circle of friends who support me. I love the gifts I receive. I love life to be exact.

I, Naureen Keswani, am not the dark which takes over me... I am influenced by it. But this in no way, in no particular, certain way defines who I am.

Being in the darkness has been good. It has given me the ability to separate darkness from the dark. Whats already dark is dark and it influences. But yr being in darkness in no way affirms that you are the dark one.

You say that light is all there is in the end. True.

But you see, I through the process of life, have developed the ability to seperate the characterstic of the 'Lit'. The now lit can have been the then in darkness. Hence, a past cannot really define a person's future.

His actions do.

And I plan to make mine glorious.

Love,
Naureen Keswani.

The Night Match!

I haev so much to post.

First of all I am jealous!:p
Raheel told me all abt that night match! Mujhe bhi raat ko khelna hai! It must be fun being out wid friends all night, playing and all! I love those gatherings!!! Have I had any? Well i do remember this one nite in 1996.. family picnic tha... it was loadsa fun. All us cousins were up all night, talking, joking, playing, laughing!
There's somthing really divine abt nights i tell u!
Yeah! I wanna be up wid my friends all night in uni and tease them and play with them and have fun!!!! LOL! Maybe i cud arrange some sorta match too! I dun really know how to play cricket! ( I think i dun like cricket!) badminton perhaps!! :D
Absars online journal aint opening! wassup Absar?! i wanna have that "I am" thing on my blog too! I lov it! have been thinking abt what i shud write in that!
Khair upto now! I am enjoying mornings! I LOVE mornings! They are so beautiful!