Still sore throat a bit gota study functions (maths) and wana watch friends!

registered for the courses today! pre-Calculus, Intro to Computing, Principles of Eco :D

What else? I am thankful hat i renewed my credit! Love to bug friends :)

At times the things u truly want, u get them :)

Gotta Open up

I got a sore throat. Its really hurting now. When I gulp aur waisay bhi it hurts a bit... Hmm gota treat it!
15 days left until i leave. I sometimes cant believe I am leaving. I was up most of the night last night thinking abt the familarity of this place. No, i am not some i-cant-live-without-my-home person but the reality of it hit me yesterday. I am not scared, I am a bit confused. But then, i love nights and wud love to have someone to talk to all night! someone i find interesting! yeah i can do that on holidays there, itni sari larkiyan hongi and yr interests bring u together! Its gona be fun :D
feels weird but believe me, i wudnt have it any other way. :) I am gona work on things and manage them.
I am getting the opportunity to educate myself, really educate myself... i am gona INSHALLAH make the best of it. :)

No one missed me!

I signed in like after a week... and no real messages! :P My computer kinda crashed and phone bhi kharab hogaya! no one missed my blogs? :P

Have a cup of tea by my side. Found my 2 favourite rings... had misplaced them 2 months or so bac :D Mom ound them... am wearing them! I love being silly at home. Played wid my stuffed bunny yesterday. threw and caught him! Its fun

I feel lighter today. I decided to let go :)
Life feels wonderful. I feel. I feel i am walking between eternity.. am content wid the past and soothed by the future. the present is divine. I love it. Morning ... walking into the sky or so it feels!:)

I cant

I cant go on pretending everythings fine
I cant really stop thinking abt it
I am sick of thinking abt it all the time
I KNOW things are gonna get better
Maybe its that pain.. that dry itchy pain which prevails when the wound's abt to close.
I think so.

I gota collect myself.
Maintain my calm
Its ok to freak out sometimes
But i gota take care of myself and of ppl i care for the most,
who have, somehow, hurt me the most.

I still need them, in one way or the other. Thats the irony.
One way or the other, its good. Or else, its gonna be extremely lonely.

In real, I cant wait for the silver lining to unfold.
Allah must have some grand work there. Some glory.
I know. I can feel it :)
Now thats teh good part.

Its ok, its almost over.
Almost over...
Another start then.. lets see... :) I am excited.
Its my time to sit back, relax and trust Him.

I know... think

I know YoU mEan No HaRm ProBably...

But ThrOugh ThE cOurSe Of LiFe, I;Ve stoppEd TrusTing U.

cOz yOu BrOKe My HeaRt.

YOu cant JuSt pLaY AlOnG pReTenDing NoThinG 'Big' HaPpeNeD.

coZ iT Did.

It's OveR. I wOnt LeT u rIp mY HeaRt aGain.

SoRry ! (more of a sarcastic sorry then a felt one!)

P.s. : Never ignore yr FeeLinGs

heyyyy!

Wassup??
Me? better. ALHAMDULILAH :)
I love Friends!!! the real ones and the show too!!
Esp where Joey makes those peanut butter fingers! and the way Pheobe acts when she loses the lottery tickets!
Hmm been preparing to leave. 26 days left. Then i'll leave. Cant believe its happening. Its like ending on an Era... almost childhood probably. Teenage years ... no i dunt feel old... the older i get, the happier I am because it makes me more aware of my existence. And I love to celebrate it. I mean I cant believe I am leaving. My favourite picture, my home, my money plant Bugsy! Whos gonna remember to water it! Maybe I shud take a part of it with me.. Hmm probably not! I think I still want a goldfish! I like caring for them! The plant's beautiful!!

Basically, been crazy abt having everything... I have prepared a 2 page list of things I am gonna need... and been studying ad math.
I am excited. It feels weird. I mean I am leaving .. I am glad its just that... u know this is the leap... a big leap through which i cross two BIG mountains.. small ones arent my choice... had something BIG in a way before... so I decided to do somethin BIG ahead in a different way.
I am basically doing it coz I am important to myself. My happiness IS important to me. I know its important to others too but I gota love myself. Makes me happy. Helps me care for others better. I lov sharin my happiness. Sometimes I choke out my sorrows too .. gives me more reasons to connect with friends more beforehand... b4 things get so bad that even talking abt it is hard. I love the people who support me
I care for those who care for me. I adore them!

This ..

This sadness...
is weird.

This sadness...
is scary.

This sadness...
is deep

Yet this sadness...
makes all my joys worthy.

I may not perfectly see it now God, I do have faith in You.
I do believe we (You and me) can create some grandeur out of all this.
I do believe that there's happiness waiting to be embaced at the end of the tunnel.
So, Thank You.

Love,
Naureen.

Hiya!

Hiya people :D
How u doin;)
Me? been studying ad math :D Application of Integration! Yeah !
I got my hair trimmed yesterday! It looks better :D I dun think i want it straightened though. It is wavy but then no straight? looks weird on some ppl! plus using chemicals on yr hair. :S hmm i dun think i want that!!
oh who cares! Gotta pace up the uni going preps soon!
ALHAMDULILAH joined the community orkut ki... LUMS 2009 ahem! really excited! :)
Hmm what else??!! its was a good day yesterday and today started off well too ALHAMDULILAH :)

The Darkness..

We can only appreciate the dark when we have waited in the darkness.

They say that darkness and light are two faces of the same coin. They say that light is what prevails, what's right and what rules. They say enlightenment is divine.

I say darkness is.

I have been in darkness. It's a shadow that's been cast over me. Darkness, depression, detest. But its not really me. Darkness has given me the ability to see beyond. To search, to look around for the light. Is the source divine or is the destiny?

I, Naureen Keswani, have the ability to rise above it. To fly so high that my sorrows cannot follow me. I dwell. I exist. But I love.

I love myself. I love my circle of friends who support me. I love the gifts I receive. I love life to be exact.

I, Naureen Keswani, am not the dark which takes over me... I am influenced by it. But this in no way, in no particular, certain way defines who I am.

Being in the darkness has been good. It has given me the ability to separate darkness from the dark. Whats already dark is dark and it influences. But yr being in darkness in no way affirms that you are the dark one.

You say that light is all there is in the end. True.

But you see, I through the process of life, have developed the ability to seperate the characterstic of the 'Lit'. The now lit can have been the then in darkness. Hence, a past cannot really define a person's future.

His actions do.

And I plan to make mine glorious.

Love,
Naureen Keswani.

The Night Match!

I haev so much to post.

First of all I am jealous!:p
Raheel told me all abt that night match! Mujhe bhi raat ko khelna hai! It must be fun being out wid friends all night, playing and all! I love those gatherings!!! Have I had any? Well i do remember this one nite in 1996.. family picnic tha... it was loadsa fun. All us cousins were up all night, talking, joking, playing, laughing!
There's somthing really divine abt nights i tell u!
Yeah! I wanna be up wid my friends all night in uni and tease them and play with them and have fun!!!! LOL! Maybe i cud arrange some sorta match too! I dun really know how to play cricket! ( I think i dun like cricket!) badminton perhaps!! :D
Absars online journal aint opening! wassup Absar?! i wanna have that "I am" thing on my blog too! I lov it! have been thinking abt what i shud write in that!
Khair upto now! I am enjoying mornings! I LOVE mornings! They are so beautiful!

I have

I have learnt that past sorrows do make foundations for future bliss.
=0)

Back!

AAAchoooooooooo!
Have flu!!
(Hey that rhymed!) Its 8:35 am... beautiful morning, MASHALLAH se gorgeous person (me!) , friends dvd! Wow!!
and i feel good that i just finished my homework :D yeah ad math ka.. definite integration to be exact. Mind u, i didnt finish the whole thing i wanna do today but a part of it.!!
I feel like flying. I am happy
Thank U God!!!
Hey all of u who are reading this, in whatever form u can, share my smile =o)

Quote of the Day..

I came across this beautiful, beautiful thing yesterday,

"Ships at the port are safe BUT this is not what ships are made for."

The Future

"You can analyze the past, but u have got to design the future."
Edward De Bono.

I feel...

I feel.. strange. I feel like a stranger. I cant believe things are the way they are. I look into certain people's faces and wonder if its really them. How could all this be happening. I feel I don't belong. I cant believe its them. I just cant.
I know I gota accept it but the pain is.. weird.

Wayyy... :P

lifeee....is .. ajeeb!!
I dwell!!! :p
been busy wid ad math and feeling ajeeb :p
Bhauuuu :p I am boreddd!!! i gota get out :p i do!!
I do got out why then this bechaini>> No i am not in love :P sochna bhi matt :P
cuzin's wedding.. 4 todays chalay gi!! starts today!!INSHALLAH the dholki wil be fun.
What? What? What?
lets see ...
confused na? I KNOW!!!
Maybe its the headache i have right now!

The Feather

There dwelt a feather
In a mysterious land
It was the softest of its kind
It's colours grand
It moved hither and thither
Not sure what was
It somehow got more colorful
In its own confusion.

Then one day,
The feather landed
on a piece of glass.
A magic glass.
In light, the glass shone
But in its absence was its darkness reveled.
Ugly colours of dark puple, black and red and green
All combined
So ugly was it really,
that it emitted ugly invisble dunes....
Dunes of pain and lustful use
Dunes of mental and physical abuse.

It made the feather jittery,
Up and down it went,
It SHivered within,
But could do nothing.
It screamed with pain
Cried with hurt
Yet its observors
thought the feather was at fault
Screaming, shoutin, robbing their peace
What they didnt catch
Were cries disguised in rage
Pain covered in screams....
Yet the feather remained beautiful.

This one time,
A hard wind blew.
It took the feather away
To its distant land,
The only remains of what had happened
Were ugle walls of the room,
And pieces of glass,
Perished in their own abuse.

I need.

I need love
I do I do I just do. I have to create my own circle of sanity.
I just have to.
I'm gona.

wow

Why did i type (almost!) underworld instead of naureenkeswani today??? !!!
I wonder!
Went to the dentist! I got cavaties. almost a month and a half left. Am in karachi then... Lahore. LUMS. new journey. a lot of dreams. ALHAMDULILAH loads of potential. lot of dealing. lot of hardwork and lot of value!
and..
my new joggers! :D