Whats Going On?

I dont know exactly whats going on. Maybe its a transition towards a better self. Thats the silver lining. But I feel so hurt its not even funny! I feel used. People can be so mean! I mean there can be people for whom u go out of yr way, at times they do the same but in the end, they come out as self centered as they really are. Beautiful snakes they are. They make u rely on their beauty, U think its a sign of their innocence but in the end.. in the end, they bite and they bite bad.

Sure things could have been worse but i feel

I dunno

I dunno so many things anymore. I dont even feel like talking to people. I feel hurt and betrayed. No matter who u r, people simply wont skip hurting u. They would exploit u more once they realize u r of the 'nicer' type. So nice to me, so mean! I mean, once u need something from me, u r so sweet! Once its all done i dont even exist for u. How mean can people be? If u dunt like me, DONT TALK TO ME. THATS MUCH BETTER THAN COMIN CLOSE TO ME, HURTING ME, TREATING ME AS IF I DUNT EXIST! and then USING ME AND MY THINGS AGAIN. I MEAN C'MON ITNA GIRA HUA? HOW CAN SOMEONE BE THAT LOW??

SUre i have had my good times but i had no idea i would hafta pay for them like that. Mean, indifferent, evil :p people!

What u r

"Man's main task in life is to give birth to himself, to become what he potentially is. The most important product of his effort is his own personality."

-Erich Fromm, Man for Himself

Love...

Your Love Element Is Earth

In love, you have consistency and integrity.For you, love is all about staying grounded and centered. You attract others with your zest for life and experiences.Your flirting style is defined by setting the scene, creating a unique moment in time. Steady progress and stability are the cornerstones of your love life.You may take things too slowly, but you never put your heart at risk. You connect best with: Fire Avoid: Wood You and another Earth element: need each other too much to build a good foundation

What Element Is Your Love?

The Moon and me

Life is better... a bit hard though. But I wont give up. Not now, i wont. I shall not surrender after coming so far... I will not die of thirst at the sight of the oasis. I simply will not.


Naureen.

You Belong in New York City

You're an energetic, ambitious woman. And only NYC is fast enough for you. Maybe you'll set yourself up with a killer career Or simply take in all the city has to offer.

What City Do You Belong In?

Heart

Follow your heart - its the hardest thing in the world to do :)
Love,
Naureen

But it si the most soothing..

Love

U can never overlook the power friends have over yr life. They shower u with love and passion and love u all the same. The way u are. They help u mould. It is so wonderful!

I just witnessed the soul of it all. It was a friend's b day today. Her friends(those who have known her for long) had this celebration for her and all. They were so funny, so lively. It like feeling life, not just the meaning of life.

Man, what would humans do without love? Nothing.

SPIRIT!

which chinese symbol are you?
brought to you by

Had you loved me the way I loved you

If you only knew how much I loved you,
You wouldnt be doing all this,
Had you realized what you meant to me,
You wouldn't have done all this.
Had you not stopped caring,
You probably would not do this.
Had you loved me back the way I loved you,
You wouldn't be doing this.
Had you seen yourself in me,
You wouldn't have hurt me.

Hmm! Theres something about mornings that I love.. the serenity and love that pours out of the sky at this time is divine :) Man its soo romantic! If i opt for a date, i'd go for an early morning walk! or maybe around flowers, sitting, talking, laughing AWWW thats so cute thats the greatest b day gift i cud have... mornings and flowers! I would LOVE to have my friends do that on my bday! I just lovveeeeee mornings!
HAd aaloo ka paratha yesterday, for the second time after coming to LUMS! YUMSS!!! i like the nashta here!
Trying to study, DID study ALHAMDULILAH! Gota study mice now... just studied human behaviour while sitting outside the academic block :)
SO cool! I love these dayss!

Life has gotten so hollow suddenly. The things that matter, the things i live for. Its gotten so lonely, i am paralysed. I will leave home tommorow INSHALLAH. See , i wanna go, i dun wana stay but i miss this cozy home so much. I feel a hollowness within me...

I even hafta work. Mids hain next week. I wonder where life will take me. This lonliness is so like me yet so unwanted... why am i not changing it? How do i change it?

Options:-
Get a boyfriend...
Contact a close friend.. talk to him at this hour... be as mysterious as u feel, just be frank...
scream, shout and cry...
stay home(I wud never do that!)
Write abt it..(thats what I am doing :D)

I am gona miss home... but its ok. Sometimes i feel i just dunt connect. I am hurting within. I know, I need to have a heart to heart with someone... but i dunno how i feel!
I gota learn to deal with this stuff... i will be leaving and coming a lot INSHALLAH... so i better get used to it.

P.s. : u have hurt me. U have so hurt me. How u gona live with it? How u gona bear it? U still mean a lot to me u know and i still trust u!

If at times you want to cry,And life seems such a trial,Above the clouds, there's a bright blue sky,So make your tears a smile.As you travel on life's way,With its many ups and downs,Remember, it's quite true to say,One smile is worth a dozen frowns.Among the world's expensive things,A smile is very cheap,And when you give a smile away,You get one back to keep.Happiness comes at times to all,But sadness comes unbidden,And sometimes a few tears must fall,Among the laughter hidden.So when friends have sadness on their faces,And troubles round them piled,The world will seem a better place,And all because you smiled!~Unknown artist

I wanna groannnnnnnnnn!

I have a cold. I ahve been feeling distant and snappy wid everybody lately... even before the cold started... had some asthma trouble today, ALHAMDULILAH its fine now.. but i so wana groan......................... I hate my life I JUST HATEEEEEEEEEEE IT!!!!!!! ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

o man, its times such as these where u gota show patience... man ... fuck it up!

Happy new year!!! :D
4:41 am and am up!! studying and tafree too!
Hm updates?? man i feel so hungry in wintersss!

Death and Love

There was this lady.. must be 40 something.. she lived in the same apartments as me. She died. I just found out. I dunno when but recently she passed away, mom didnt tell me coz i was already sick.I feel so overwhelmed, shes gone. We used to attend prayers together. Morning prayers together.. I never felt safe going alone, she always took me with her. Those were restless nights for me. Had stuff on my mind. I was basically haunted. Haunted. Those prayers were my solace. I still remember those haunted nights. SHe was so proud of me. LUMS and all ALHAMDULILAH. She was divorced, had no kids. Used to live with her mom. Her mother's still alive...

The last time she met me, she asked me to pray for her mother( her mom was sick). She was like, "You are a daughter, God will listen to you. Please pray for my mom that God restores her health." she said something like that. I did. And her mom's ok, i guess.

It must be so hard for her. Losing a daughter like that. That lady died of a heart attack. She always asked me to visit her home. She was soo active MASHALLAH. She was a teacher and was into social work too.

May God grant her peace and love. AAMEEN

I love you and will miss you always. No matter what now, u have filled these places in my life with love. and i love u for it.

This is for everyone who, at one point in time has meant something to me and has filled me with love. I love you.

Love,
Naureen

hmm....

Do u feel offended when I say life is 'fucked up'?!

:D

yeah staying out in the cold.. after posting yr blogs, sitting out in the cold and crying aint the wisest thing to do... i did have someone by my side(my friend saw me and stayed with for long and talked to me and comforted me... sardiii lag gayeee been soo sick! and now my abs hurt:D ouch!!

Ah friends make life easier but no crying or eating ice cream in a collddd seasoon!

the pain...

WHy? why do people hurt ya> why do people not care when u care bac?why am i so dissatisfied why does it hurt so much? A part of mewants to sit and cry another part of me wants to go bac to my friends roomand cry my eyes out. People hurt ya dun they, they dun really care.Why do i care so much?why, why, why?it feels pointless, its causing me so much pain.\I feel numb with pain and worry. I gota work thisits been years... ive been disappointed since childhood thru thingslike these, pain, ignorance, carelessness. WHy cant ppl for once understand how sensitive i am and take care of it?\how much shud i adjust>


i just wana go n cry but it wont get me anywhere,... its nor worth itttttttttttGodd... what do u do when it hurts, it hurts so bad... ppl u love so much hurt uthey really really do...
ugh

hieee! updates! + nature obsessed thoughts

I cant resist it.. the beauty of nature.. the weather is lovely here! and these windows in the lab let u peek into what feels like heaven... no its not the male hostel i can see , its ALHAMDULILAH the duck pond, the grass, benches and the beautiful sky! =o) I love it here...
Life is good.Looking at stars at night is just beautiful. I have a good view from my hostel room :) Friends are good. U can hang out anytime u want. :)
I got enrolled in ma Writing and Compo course.. for the rest 3 i am on the waiting list! :D ahem! lets see..

Exams going on... finals! ALHAMDULILAH 1 hogaya three more to go :)
INSHALLAH

tc! vbye bye
:)_

hie~

Life is.. good ALHMADULILAH. Its one of those phases when things are better. Subtle and a bit painful and u discover this coldness and resilience within you that helps you surpass thoughts that destruct yr peace. It is one of those phases for me. I know things arent perfect, but INSHALLAH they INSHALLAH will get better. I have faith, in the rewards and return of my struggle. I am gonna surpass it. That I know.

I have a feeling that when I reach a moment I abstractly aspire for, I will look back at this time and be proud. Feel the sweetness of the struggle that defines certain aspects of my life. That shall be good. The basic attraction now is teh future that holds love and peace. Some extension of the present. I am loved. I will be loved.

For now,INSHALLAH i can, i will.

Love,
Naureen.

P.s. : Foofu, Baray Bhaloo, ullu, dhakan and dabba, nutian, thats what i call u. But these are just variables for the wonderful person inside u... Keep smiling! new name: orange!!!