Food for thought

Our Deepest Fear

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.It is our Light, not our Darkness, that most frightens us.We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?Actually, who are you NOT to be?
You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the World.
There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you.
We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.
It is not just in some of us;
it is in everyone.
As we let our own Light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our own fear,
our presence automatically liberates others.

Marianne Williamson
From A Return to Love.

...

Some days are like diamonds,
Some days are like stones,
I feel like I have lost my diamonds
Even though I know they are out there,
to hold on to.
Its so hard, letting go.
:)

It came again

It almost got me last night. The dolefullness. The despair. I almost gave in. It came to a point where I was confused. I was crying and coughing at the same time. Didnt know whether to wipe my tears or soothe my coughing. Then, I gave in. I thought last night, that the sleep that I was going to experience would be same as many before. Going to bed, sobbing my heart out and waking up the next day with my eyes swollen. Telling everybody its a cold or an allergy.. when in reality it never was! I fooled so many of my friends like that before. But this despair has been following me on and off for the past few years. And then, I changed.

It was the same almost last night. Listening to music, thinking about things that have shaped so much. And suddenly, I couldnt stop the flow that my heart, my pained heart had engendered. Mom almost caught me crying. Thank God the cough was there so I pretended it was a cold. Then, I lay down. I didnt take those nose drops that mom asked me to. I just wanted to be alone with my despair. Let it attack me - again. And then, it stopped. Good thing I had my tasbi (prayer beads) with me. I just clutched them and felt the power. And then, it stopped. Had a somewhat peaceful sleep. This morning is different. No unusally swollen eyes. No moroseness that's extreme. I feel like I am powerful. I am flowing. Its like there's this aura of serenity around me. It's soo soothing. I am glad last night was different. I am SO tired of those nights when I cry myself to sleep and wake up, feeling so pained that even numbness hurts. I am glad it was different. Thank You God :)

A Human Being

"Depressed I believe we all are,we use our surroundings to make ourselves happy."
So said Ahad once.
I wonder if that's what a human being is.
Bold in war,
Beaten within,
Closed doors
That numbness still!
I wonder if that's a human being.
You know I like ice cream!
Coz' it freezes a moment within
It pauses a moment within and pacifies me.
Reaches down, from Up above
A blessing,
This ice cream.
I don't feel anything else when I am bestowed with it.
I am not an addict.
Or am I?
Let's analyze...

Rebuilding myself,
Brick by brick,
Thought by thought,
I am unbuilding a mystrey
And creating eternity
With this thread I called divine!
Its not a web, mind you
I am free to move always,
Always am I free to move.
It's a thread I weave on myself.
You see I have to.
This unthreaded me has suffered enough.
I need protection.
But I refuse a cocoon.
So God sent me a thread.
It's bright and blue,
It's an antidote of the apparent venom that seems to surround me,
Suspended in midair to attack me.
It HAS worked before.
But you see I was numb then
Or lost without ice cream!
But then God showed me the antidote.
I love the hugs that God sent me.
Dear God, can I return the pain and
keep the gift?
Did you actually send that pain?
Did it hurt you too?
If yes, then why did you do it?
If no, will it stop hurting me too?


You see my friends are my ice cream
They are blue, yellow, pink and purple
With polka dotted stuff.
Do You hate me God?
You know I don't think so!
Coz' you listen to me when I am pained,
You answer my prayers.
I thank You and I love You!
But what do I do wiith the pain?
You know the antidote is good.
The antidote is my friends you see
Even though I appear to be fit and fast
We've broken the lock
We've come put of the moulds
The past monsters are gone
We have ourselves to deal with now,
Oh what a relief!
We can rebuild ourselves
Get stronger, be peaceful
And defend when attacked
But spread Love and Peace otherwise
That's the antidote.
Thats my antidote and I think it's yours too?


See that's a human being
Binded by a thread to others.
My actions affect you
and vice versa.
If I perform nice, soothing deeds,
Your pain's gonna be relieved
Don't cry my friend
We are all in this together
Surely, God drowned us to cleanse us
Now I don't need air always
God sent me gils, to breathe with.
I am o.k. in water.
I don't drown now,
I change.
See? It works.
Out of a zillion things that you think have destroyed you
We have 23 zillion things that are glorious.
They work for us!
And just imagin
What's gonna happen
When we spread these 83 zillion things
Of courage, happiness, LOVE and peace
and they multiply!

Angelic 2

U know it was mentioned to me yesterday.. that happiness is within. You have got to let go of external things. What am I missing? What do I not have enough of and where can I find it?
Its just that I have so many dreams , and so many frustuations! I wanna let go of the frustuations and make my dreams come true... maybe THATS the way! frustuations pave way for dreams acquired... dreams coming true!
But u shud know when to let go. I mean u know too much frustuations are like an eclipse.. they cover yr dreams and the happiness they bring! How much is to be searched within? What is to be picked elsewhere? I think its the pursuit of things... I mean the process of struggle... The achieving comes later and boy it matters! But at times we run for things we dont get , then ccry over it! My personal experience has taught me that and what else i learnt was I got comparitively and individually(uncomparitively) better things, great things! that showed me the worth of struggle. Maybe life aint that bad... Maybe certain experiences come together... some people are hurt and sad... and frustuated and eventually that frustutaion affects us... I wonder if God interepts there... u know He's given all of us the power of free will... the power to choose what we want! I am not even gona mention correct or incorrect coz all that's relative! But I DO believe He gives us better things... My personal experience tells me that. My observation tells me that. Nature tells me that! There are things that dont seem to have an answer but maybe thats why it IS to be found.. and its graduall... the learning and finding.. the struggle can NEVER wait.. results do only to ripe at the good time...
I have had things that i felt i shud have received before but now i realize i wudnt have been able to handle them before. DOwn in it lies the desire for more... (LUMS! to be exact :) INSHALLAH! :) and thankfulness.... I am grateful to God for all that I have received.. I really cant depend totally on external outcomes.. maybe its high time we stop ourselvees... the within us to get totally influenced by the without us(the external world) or maybe its not.
COme think of it, we are somehow linked to each other. Each other's happiness and each other's sorrows and love too... I am so dependent on others for their love and appreciation, their patience and trust.. its amusing!!! And i think somehow i have contributed towards someone else's feeling of being loved... of being appreciated.. of being happy and of course at times of being sad!
Had all the bad things in my life not happened.. I wudnt have come across the wonderful ppl I have come to know and admire... Maybe life is all u chose to happen to u... by yr behaviour towards it!

Hiee!

hie!

"What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies with in us." -Ralph Waldo Emerson
What you do speaks so loudly that I cannot hear what you say." -Ralph Waldo Emerson

Hmm weird day today.. it was good overall! Aww my friends are speciaalL!! they aree!! :) my cool friends!! all of them! (hey that rhymed!!)
Boy i feel kinda sick.. feel ajeeb! but at least i have something to do LOL!! :) yeah yeah its all up to me! I am being lazy! but i think its ok! i need to relax :P Phir tu ragra lagna haI! (uni n all!) yeah but i think its gona be fun!! INSHALLAH! Ah my uni dreams!! :)
Hmm what else? been sick since 2 or 3 days am feeling better today! WHat I have noticed is i like being busy somehow! yeahh! and i love to laugh!!! :) thats why i keep watching, "Friends!" What else? Just feel kinda weak! yeah but am gona use it as an impetus to help me spring up! I mean bounce back!! Into a more active world! Got those ad maths classes in mind.. but gotta have some sports too...
No one i mean not many times do ppl wanna play wid me! :p so i created my own games.. one of them includes Squash! yeah with a table tennis bat n ball (ping pong!) against the door! yeah! am not using tennis ball and that racket! The first thing these equipments hit at is my nose!!! and mouth!! my lip is already bruised! :p it was from the dryness! yeah my lower lip kinda split once when I was on vacation hahaha! yeah and the bleeding!but that was long time back! now its a bit bruised somehow and hurts a bit!! i dun wana make it a target of a tennis ball!
and BLAH :p what else? I wonder! hmm gona have some juice now my eyes burn a little and yes I am gonna mention the pain that i feel when i am sick! I love it! but u know whats more important? cheering up? I think its times liek these when u realize what u wanna do when u get better! I mean i was thinking abt joining these swimming classes.. was confused then i got sick and realized i wanna join!!! conveyance panga but i think tha can be worked out INSHALLAH! its nice to decide what u want!!
And yeah i like learning vocab but get bored sometimes... made so many flashcards but they r put inside ma cupboard! gota get them out!! yeah study a little! will see will see!

Intrinsic

I attended this lecture the other day.. the topic was "Self-development throught the process of change". It was well-conducted. Makes me think. Have u ever thought how thinking affects us? Well.. theres this concept of 'hado' the intrinsic changes of water... through the power of thought. Experiments on water were carried out.. by exposing different samples to different words... the water samples were put in tubes.. with words written and stuck on them.. words like 'Thank You", "Peace", "Love", "You Fool". The water was then frozen i think... and its crystals were later on observed... The water samples changed in atomic terms!
Water constitutes 70% or above of our body... imagine what we do to ourselves with negitive thinking.. waiting for others to change ! I mean woww!
Now I make it a point to think good thoughts and it works... every time I start thinking abt negitive stuff.. I tend to stop myself and think of what this is doing to me!
This was exactly what I needed... Negitivty is hard... I felt so overwhelmed with feelings and emotions! I wonder if Ahad is right when he says that feeling is a flaw of man! I think negitive feeling is... Ever thought high... spirits high.. being happy for no reason! I think its God's gift. His saying, "Come feel My world!!" but then white cant exist without black!! I think negitivity is always gonna be there.. I am fine with it.. I just don't wanna dive into it!
About the blues.. I think they are needed to feel yrself. Walks definately are fun!! Yeha being with yourself.. letting your mind drift... think abt anything u want ! Anything! That's fun.. even I take walks at night and morning too sometimes! I can hear the birds chirping!! yeah I absolutely love morning walks... helps me stay sunny all day! ALHAMDULILAH :)

Hado

About anyone interested in exploring the intrinsic changes in water.. thru the power of thought ...
www.hado.net
check it out!

hmm..

"To a mere child you are a parent, to two, you are a referee!"

AMAZING!

Eye of the tiger.. by Survivor


Risin' up -- back on the street,
Did my time, took my chances
Went the distance now i'm back on my feet
Just a man and his will to survive --
So many times, it happens too fast,
You trade your passion for glory,
Don't lose your grip on the dreams of the past,
You must fight just to keep them alive ¨c

*it's the eye of the tiger,
It's the thrill of the fight,
Rising up to the challenge of our rival,
And the last known survivor
Stalks his prey in the night,
And he's watching us all
With the eye of the tiger.*

Face to face -- out in the heat,
Hangin' tough, stayin' hungry
They stack the odds still we take to the street
For the kill, with the skill to survive --

( * repeat)

Risin' up -- straight to the top,
Had the guts, got the glory
Went the distance, now i'm not gonna stop
Just a man and his will to survive --

( * repeat)

Dreams

cant get this outa my mind- dun even want to! this is whats been goin on in ma mind lately (my mind edits stuff after listenin to songs! yeah i am that creative ;)

Dont let go of the dreams of the past
You must fight just to keep them alive

Its the eye of the tiger, its the queen of the fight
RIsing up to the challenge of her rivals